


be careful (not) to mess with the balance of things

by chatonnerie



Series: Wizards of Yunmeng Place [1]
Category: Wizards of Waverly Place, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, Halloween, I have emerged for the best day in the mdzs calendar, M/M, Surprise Prequel, Urban Fantasy, Wei Wuxian's Birthday, guess this is a thing now, wowp crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27302350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chatonnerie/pseuds/chatonnerie
Summary: An unfortunate plumbing incident means Nie Huaisang's Big Bad Wolf brother is moving town, and Nie Huaisang might have just possibly, not quite mentioned to his protective brother that he's dating someone. A wizard, no less.Wei Wuxian is expected to solve it like usual, but he's far more invested in the newest vampiric transfer to their school/owner of the new restaurant to feel like solving anything but his building fascination.Also, Lan Qiren is a vampire, he's been saying it for years and he was Right.
Relationships: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Niè Huáisāng, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Series: Wizards of Yunmeng Place [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993396
Comments: 31
Kudos: 200





	be careful (not) to mess with the balance of things

**Author's Note:**

> Emerges from the lockdown trapdoor to yeet a birthday fic for Wei Wuxian.

The situation was not ideal. Wei Wuxian was tied up by what looked to be a guitar strap, Wen Ning was still blind, and the weird android thing had yet to move from its position, blocking the door.

And Wen Ning was still wearing an outfit made up entirely of world maps. Not necessarily part of the problem, but it was certainly a distraction.

Wei Wuxian sighed and shuffled over to lean on Wen Ning’s shoulder. The human squeaked.

“Who’s that?!”

“Me. Just like the past seven times,” Wei Wuxian drawled, exasperatedly, “what’s the sequence you use to shut off computer programs?”

Wen Ning’s face scrunched up. “Control-Alt-Delete?”

“Right _,_ yes, that’s it.” Wei Wuxian left him to . . . what looked to be a jar of cogs, and shuffled back over to the android lady, “All right, Franken-girl. Can we talk? Right now, captured as we are, would you say we’re under your . . .?” he trailed off pointedly and the android thought for a second.

“Control.”

“Yes, exactly the word I was thinking of,” he clapped as best he could with his bound hands, “Now, how about a little brain teaser? What is a delicious ice-cream drink _without_ it’s M?”

The android blinked and shuffled away from the door, hand to its chin as it thought the question over.

It spun around brightening. “Alt!”

Wei Wuxian smiled blandly. Behind them, sitting with jar of cogs in his lap, Wen Ning sighed.

“I was going to say ‘ilkshake’ . . .”

Wei Wuxian just rolled his eyes and put on his most charming smile. “And now I would like you to say the word delete.”

The android blinked. “Delete. That wasn’t so . . . wait a second . . .”

The lights in the eyes died and the stumbling creation slid down into a nearby chair, engine shutting down. Wei Wuxian wriggled his arms and pulled loose the cable’s strap. It fell free easily and he shook himself out.

“Now _that_ wasn’t too hard. Here.” he pulled out his wand and zapped Wen Ning. The human blinked as his vision was returned. He took in the android with wide eyes.

“Wow. That was not what I thought she looked like.”

“Yeah, good to know Jiang Cheng still has no understanding of women,” Wei Wuxian spun his wand and beamed triumphantly, “he’s no match for me.”

“Yeah, but you’re no match for Headmaster Lan,” Wen Ning held up his phone, time flashing at the top, “we’re going to be late to school.”

“Oh come on, A-Ning!” Wei Wuxian looped arms with his best friend and held up his glowing wand, “why would magic exist, if not to use it?”

The wand flashed and the pair of them vanished out of the gnomes’ warehouse.

“See?” Wei Wuxian preened as he and Wen Ning slipped in through the back entrance of Gusu Prep Senior High, making for their lockers, both clutching ice cream cones, “what did I say? We’re barely late.”

Wen Ning blinked at him, idly taking a lick of his ice cream.

“Wei Ying, we’ve missed two whole periods.”

Wei Wuxian just hummed, tossing his half eaten ice cream into the abomination that was his locker and shutting it, “Well, _you’re_ late, this is when I normally get here.”

Wen Ning just rolled his eyes.

“You’re going to get held back a year like this . . .”

“It’s _fiiiiiine_. Jeez, you’re starting to sound like your sister. What do we have now?”

“Well, theoretically calc.” Wen Ning sighed, “but I’m probably going to just get detention.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll bust you out if they do that to you.”

“Wei Ying, you don’t understand the purpose of punishment, do you?”

The wizard just rolled his eyes as they headed up the stairs to the first level classrooms.

“Class has already started.”

They both froze.

Standing at the top of the stairs was a member of the student disciplinary committee. But there was something distinctly off about him. Firstly, Wei Wuxian liked to think he knew every member of the disciplinary committee pretty well, and most had already stopped bothering with him by the end of Freshman year. Secondly, the previous point could be explained by the rather obvious element that he had never seen this guy before in his _life_.

Wen Ning squeaked.

Wei Wuxian gave him a once over, even as those golden eyes did so in return. He was _insanely_ pretty, porcelain skin, flawless complexion that probably required at least ten stages of facial maintenance in the bathroom and a body lean and sculpted enough to actually make his dumb school jacket look nice.

And fangs. 

That was definitely a fang being revealed as his disdainful glance slowly evolved into a sneer.

“Wen Ning?” he mumbled, “When I move, get to class.”

“Move-?”

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!”

The new kid startled as Wei Wuxian spun on his heel and tore down the steps, clearly beelining for the back gate. An eerily calm expression appeared on his face as he took chase and Wen Ning didn’t waste any time in booking it to the class.

Jiang Cheng glanced up as he slid into his seat, two over.

“Where is he?”

“Right here,” it said something that not even the teacher reacted as the back window slid open and Wei Wuxian climbed in, beaming, “gave him the slip and climbed up the ivy.”

“Wei Wuxian,” their teacher drawled, “not that climbing up a whole storey isn’t impressive, but I’d be far more impressed if we could start on time today.”

He grinned, saluted, and cheerfully slunk into the seat between his brother and best friend.

Jiang Cheng squinted, and he huffed.

“Ran into some new kid - he tried to chase me all the way to the chicken coop, but I lost him there. Where’s Nie- _xiong_?”

They all turned to the empty fourth chair in their row and Jiang Cheng coughed.

“His, err, time of the month.”

“Ooooh. Pfft. Drama Queen.” He spun on his stool and smirked, “And seriously, an android? What are you, twelve?”

“Hey, I spent all night making that thing! You broke my skateboard!”

“Heh,” Wei Wuxian flicked a lock of his hair, “well looks like your revenge . . . revunged.”“

That’s not a word.”

“Look it up.”

“So what? I can be doubly-certain it’s not a word?”

“ _Boys_!” the teacher groaned, pointedly tapping the whiteboard, “A little bit of _focus_ please.

They both straightened and Wei Wuxian slid his notebook under his desk, clicking his finger so his pen would start independently writing his notes for him. He tilted his head ever so slightly the way of Jiang Cheng.

“So who _is_ the new guy?”

“Dunno. Word around the block is that he’s a Lan, though, so be careful. You don’t want to give the Headmaster another reason to pop a vein every time he sees you.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes sparkled and Jiang Cheng kneed him.

“Oh my God.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Oh my _God_.”

“Wen Ning, you’re freaking me out.”

His friend pointed meaningfully behind Wei Wuxian’s back and he blinked, sitting up from where he’d been spending the rest of the class napping in his arms, to examine the door.

The Mysterious New Disciplinary member was waiting there, staring Wei Wuxian down.

“ . . . That could be horny.” Wei Wuxian mused, sitting up properly and arching his spine into a position meant to be sexy but sort of just made his back hurt. Wen Ning shook his head rapidly.

“Nuh-uh, he’s going to kill you.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Wei Wuxian reclined back and grinned, “Unfortunately for him, we have an unfair advantage~”

Wen Ning tilted his head and had just one moment to stare at him, exasperated, before he flicked the wand out of his boot and tapped his watch. The entire world went perfectly still.

Wen Ning stared at him, mouth a single line.

“I thought you were meant to not fiddle with time dilations.” 

“Oh come, on, they’re only bad if I mess up,” Wei Wuxian dismissed, bouncing to his feet and hooking elbows with his best friend. He dragged him right beside the frozen teen, shimmying his pecs as he passed and grinning when the other couldn’t so much as click his tongue, “where’d Cheng Cheng go, by the way?”

“He left when the class ended. Something about the election applications?”

“Oh yeah,” Wei Wuxian made a face, “I really need to sabotage that - it would be _very_ inconvenient if he got Student President next year.”

“You’re kind of mean.”

“Not new information.” The pair of them got a safe distance away, upon which Wei Wuxian pulled Wen Ning around a corner and quickly let time flow again.

All the sounds rushed back and a couple of students double-took at suddenly seeing the pair hiding behind the corner. Most importantly, the Disciplinary Guy straightened, the most imperceptible down tilt to his eyebrows as he glanced around. Wei Wuxian snickered, and wiggled his wand.

“ _Rip fate, tip chance, and change happenstance._ ”

A student walking past the disciplinary committee yelped as they trod on their shoelaces and dropped an entire portfolio of folders to the ground, startling the tall man into spinning, frown just increasing.

Wei Wuxian grinned and took Wen Ning’s wrist.

“That’s our cue~”

He pulled Wen Ning down the stairs and off to the biology labs with the disciplinary member none the wiser. Wen Ning just followed after him, exasperated.

“Don’t you think he’s going to catch you, eventually?”

No, not particularly,” they stopped by their lockers and Wen Ning retrieved his books as Wei Wuxian pulled out a sketchpad and a day old burrito, alarmingly red as all his snacks were, “but it’s going to be fun watching him try.”

Wen Ning observed, him, pouting, “Fine. As long as I’m not involved.”

“You got it. So I’m thinking, at the end of bio, you’ll cause a distraction while I transform the school’s hose into a chicken-”

Wen Ning squinted, nose scrunching, “Wei Ying, you should really pay more attention to people.”

“What?”

“Never mind. You’ll need your safety glasses.”

“Oh yeah, thanks, Wen Ning!”

Wen Ning just shook his head as Wei Wuxian retrieved the plastic glasses from his void of a locker and hip-pushed it shut.

They walked through the crowds, heading down to the labs. They could see their classroom, when someone yelled behind them. Wei Wuxian looked over his shoulder, in time to see Tall and White appearing around the corner. He grinned, grabbed Wen Ning’s wrist and took off at a sprint, ducking into their classroom just as the Guy reached the door and skidded to a harsh stop. He stood outside the door, visibly trembling as he glared viciously at Wei Wuxian. Was that a little red in his eye?

Wei Wuxian looked at the incensed Guy with wide, innocent eyes, before bringing up his hand and blowing the Guy a kiss.

That earnt him a snarl and he giggled, skipping over to his desk right as the bell rang. When he looked up, the Guy was completely gone from the doorway and he blinked. Quicker than he looked, huh.

“What have you done now, Wei- _xiong_?” One of his classmates asked, wryly and he shrugged.

“Dunno. Existed.”

“Yep, that would do it.” Someone else chirped and he formed a heart with his hands just as the teacher came in and began talking about a cellular process he’d taught himself when he was eight.

(Science was never particularly interesting)

He sat back, auto-set his pen to write for him, and amused himself for the class by enchanting everyone’s shoelaces to be tied together.

He and Wen Ning similarly managed to avoid the Guy for the rest of the day, and aside from a particularly disappointing moment when he failed to change the hose into a chicken, he’d consider the day an overall success.

He and Wen Ning were just planning a visit to a local thrift shop, when his locker slammed shut.

“Oi.”

He spun, beaming. 

“Wen Qing, always a delight!”

“Hi, _jiejie_ ,” Wen Ning smiled and she nodded to him before resuming scowling at Wei Wuxian.

“What’s this about you having a running feud with the new Lan?”

“Oh, it’s very fun!” he chirped, “I run away, and he fails to catch me. Humans are handicapped like that.”

Her forehead twitched and her hand came down hard atop his head.

“Ow!!”

“Try saying that again, you brat.”

“Wen Qing, why are you so mean?” he immediately whined, pouting and quickly switching position with Wen Ning, putting the smaller boy between himself said boy’s sister. Wen Qing sent him a stink eye.

“Don’t do that.”

“I don’t mind,” Wen Ning beamed and Wei Wuxian beamed even brighter over his shoulder.

“Exactly! Anyway, why do you care and what do I have to do to make you stop caring?”

Wen Qing rolled her eyes, “Well, you _should_ care. A-Li got upset to hear that you might be getting in trouble.”

Wei Wuxian’s beam fell. “What.”

“Be prepared for your sister’s sadness when you get home tonight.”

“Her _what_.”

Wen Qing smiled sweetly and waggled her fingers, “Have fun with that~”

“Wen Qing!”

She trotted away, most likely to spend the afternoon working in their family’s clinic and Wei Wuxian frowned, folding his arms.

“Well. That’s not good. In fact, that’s even regrettable.”

“Would some retail therapy make you feel better?” Wen Ning offered, and Wei Wuxian beamed, making a peace sign.

“Hell yeah! I’ll get _Shijie_ something as an apology too - let’s gogo!”

The two headed off, and Wei Wuxian muted his phone so Jiang Cheng couldn’t message him, heading for the high school gates.

“Wait.”

He turned. His lips twitched up. Wen Ning made a small noise of surprise beside him.

“Seriously, man?” he sunk his weight into his hip, one hand resting down on it, “school’s over. If you have something to tell me, wait until tomorrow.”

“Five.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Arriving late, one.” The Guy spoke, voice completely flat and free of emotion, “Running from a committee member, two. Climbing the school walls, three. Involving other students, four. Attempting to steal the school hose, five.”

Ah. Wei Wuxian’s grin widened and he waved a finger.

“Uh-uh, there’s no rule against climbing the walls. So, it’s actually four!” he made a peace sign and the Guy scowled.

“Irresponsible.”

“Wow, that’s me to T!” he sang, moving his peace sign of his eye, and taking some relaxed, long steps towards the Guy, who watched with narrowing eyes, “How about this? Catch me tomorrow, and I’ll reconsider my actions~”

The Guy’s eyes narrowed. And he nodded.

“I will catch you.”

“Good luck,” for his final move, he reached out and lightly flicked the underside of the Guy’s chin, peering up through his lashes, “see you tomorrow~”

The Guy remained completely frozen and Wei Wuxian sauntered away, pleased. Wen Ning hurried to join him.

“Um, Wei Ying?” he whispered, “You forgot-”

“I forget nothing, A-Ning,” he grinned, and began to skip, “he’s the one who miscalculated.”

The miscalculation was that the next day was Saturday, and Wei Wuxian had absolutely no need to go anywhere near school. Instead he spent the entire day manning the Jiang family restaurant’s cashier.

He was in the middle of reading about the rise of genuinely accurate spirit boxes crossing over to the human realm, the front-page article of Realm of Wizard Magazine, when the door opened and Wen Ning came in, yawning, and wearing a blazer made of entirely yellow feathers. Even by Wei Wuxian’s standards, Wen Ning could really sleep like the dead.

He came through the empty restaurant and sat up on the counter. Wei Wuxian silently handed him a basket of fried chicken and the two rested in silence, Wen Ning eating and Wei Wuxian reading.

Wen Ning idly swung his legs.

“You know, it’s really quiet in here today.”

“Yeah~” Wei Wuxian flicked through his magazine, “When Uncle’s out of town I sometimes _forget_ to put the open sign up.”

He rolled his head back to look at the door and waved a hand.

“Oh well, I’ll probably remember, about three. Once everybody out there’s already had lunch.”

“Your uncle’s out of town?” 

“He said he had something to check out and would be gone for the afternoon.” Wei Wuxian pulled the magazine down slightly, “Do you think it’s a surprise magic quiz? That would be funny. Jiang Cheng would flip.”

“Did he mention wizard realm or human realm?”

Wei Wuxian shrugged, “Does it matter?” 

“Well, presumably, wizard realm is a pop quiz.”

“Wait, what pop quiz?!”

They both turned to see Jiang Cheng at the top of the stairs that led up to the Jiang’s apartment, eyes wide and frazzled.

“Just a theory, ChengCheng~” Wei Wuxian dismissed, turning back to his magazine, “I was wondering where Uncle went.”

“Oh, fuck, you actually scared me there,” Jiang Cheng came down the stairs, frowning, “they’ve gone to handle the monthly accounts. Did you not put the sign out again?!”

Wei Wuxian looked up and jutted out his lower lip, “Oh. That’s what I forgot.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, totally. Just like how you ‘forgot’-”

“A-CHENG!!”

The door slammed open and their three heads turned in sync. Nie Huaisang came sprinting through, expensive jacket thrown carelessly over his arm.

“IT’S TERRIBLE!!” 

Nie Huaisang threw himself onto his boyfriend. When Jiang Cheng just sort of stared ahead, stilla bit dazed, Nie Huaisang absently moved one of the wizard’s arms so that it was holding him and properly resumed sobbing out his lungs.

“I can’t _believe_ it! My life is _over_! I hate _everything_!”

“. . . Everything?” Jiang Cheng whispered, suddenly stricken and Nie Huaisang pat his shoulder.

“Not you, of course, sweetie, but get with the emotional program.”

“What’s ruined your life this time, Nie- _xiong_?” Wei Wuxian obliged him, still flicking through his magazine.

Wen Ning retrieved a glass of water for himself as the metaphorical pin was pulled from the less metaphorical grenade.

“Oh, it’s _terrible,_ Wei- _xiong_!” Nie Huaisang regaled in full tears, “Full moon is always terrible, it always sucks, I thought I was mentally prepared but no, life has found me in a muddy ditch and decided to kick me like the poor unloved puppy that I am!!”

He exhaled and then tilted his head up, “Are you scratching my ears?”

Jiang Cheng blinked, “Is it working?”

“Yes, don’t stop,” Nie Huaisang shifted so his back was to Jiang Cheng, and the wizard hugged him around the waist, still absently scratching his scalp, “so anyway, my brother’s apartment got flooded.”

Wen Ning choked on his next sip. Wei Wuxian arched an eyebrow.

“And?”

“And? AND? Wei- _xiong_!!” Nie Huaisang exhaled mightily. “It was dreadful. All of us stark naked and standing in the hallway as this landlord hurried to tell us why we couldn’t get back in for planned post-moon snacks. We had fully stocked the pantry and everything. I thought I would die from embarrassment, and snack deprivation.”

“So you were mortified,” Wei Wuxian pointed out, blithely, “what specifically, about that ruined your life?”

Nie Huaisang sighed, for a few too many seconds, “Isn’t it obvious? My brother has to move because he’s now freaked out that the landlord might know what we are!! And instead of going and staying with his undead bed buddy, he’s moving in with me!!!”

“Oh damn.” Wei Wuxian arched an eyebrow. Wen Ning frowned.

“His what?”

“A-Sang’s older brother hooks up with a vampire,” Jiang Cheng filled in, “why does this matter? Just stay here until your brother gets a new place for the pack.”

Nie Huaisang rolled his tongue around his mouth. “Um . . . about that . . .”

“Pardon?”

“About that,” he spoke up, a bit more clearly, “I may not have, um, told him I’m dating someone?”

Jiang Cheng blinked. And immediately scowled.

“ _Oi_.”

“I really thought we were going to be a temporary thing!” Nie Huaisang yelped immediately, “And then you turned out to be really fucking sweet and by then I was in too deep and didn’t know how to broach the topic and now I have two alternatives, tell my brother I’m dating a wizard or _live with my brother_.”

“Not cool, Nie-xiong!” Wei Wuxian put down the magazine with a _thwap_. “How _dare_ you not tell your brother you were dating Jiang Cheng!”

“Uh, name _one_ time you have told Mum and Dad about the people you’ve been dating,” Jiang Cheng immediately shot back and Wei Wuxian shrugged.

“That’s different. I didn’t respect them. But I respect you!” He held up a thumbs up and Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.

“Wait, is there a problem with you dating a wizard?” Wen Ning suddenly blinked. Wei Wuxian snorted.

“Not particularly but wolves are all aligned with good, you see? We’re neutral. They don’t really like that.”

“But you literally just told me that he was hooking up with a vampire. They’re evil, right?”

“Exclusively,” Nie Huaisang nodded, “wizards are all indecisive. They care more about learning new things than having moral stances on anything. It’s very frustrating.”

Jiang Cheng frowned. “I’m good.”

“Your anger management says otherwise,” Wei Wuxian chipped in and Jiang Cheng socked him on the back of the head.

Nie Huaisang let out a loud frustrated sigh that always meant he wanted the attention back on him.

“Anyways,” he declared, “now you all know my problems. Fix them.”

“Tell your brother about Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian picked his magazine back up and ignored the askance look Nie Huaisang sent him.

“Or you could persuade Nie Mingjue to stay somewhere else?” Jiang Cheng rubbed the back of his neck, “Like, why _isn’t_ he staying with his vampire with benefits?”

“Oh, that’s because Xichen- _ge_ is moving,” Nie Huaisang dismissed easily, “he and his younger brother just bought a place nearby. The rest of the coven is coming later, which is wonderful because Lan- _xiong_ ’s enough of a heart attack just by himself.”

Wei Wuxian’s ears pricked.

“Lan- _xiong_?” He echoed, grinning coming to life, “Like Lan Qiren?”

Wen Ning looked a little resigned. Jiang Cheng was now properly scowling at him. Nie Huaisang nodded, oblivious.

“Yeah, he’s their uncle. Lan- _xiong_ , ah, Lan Wangji, rather, is apparently starting at our school. He’s _terrifying_. Like, he’d be terrifying even if he wasn’t a vampire.”

The four of them rested in silence. Nie Huaisang sniffed.

“This silence tells me I need to ask what _have_ you done, Wei- _xiong_?”

“Pissed off this Lan Wangji to high heaven,” Jiang Cheng deadpanned, “the whole school already knows.”

“I’ve never seen someone so ready to kill Wei Ying,” Wen Ning agreed ruefully. Nie Huaisang groaned.

“Seriously?! Wei- _xiong_ you couldn’t wait one day!?!”

“So Lan Qiren really is a vampire!!” Wei Wuxian squealed and they all stared at him.

“. . . That’s your first response?” Jiang Cheng drawled, and Wei Wuxian huffed, waving dismissively at him.

“Leave me alone with that soppy attitude. You have no clue how long I’ve been waiting for this news.”

“You’ve pissed off Lan- _xiong_?!” Nie Huaisang screamed, “Wei- _xiong_ , you’re dead. You’re so dead. He’s going to flay your skin and dance on your innards and not one person will think he’s in the wrong, you are so, so doomed.”

“He seems like your everyday stick in the mud to me,” he remarked blithely. Nie Huaisang’s face screwed up and he turned and flung himself over Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes, and clicked his ears to block out sound, knowing this was going to go on for a while.

They did, in fact, have a pop quiz that night.

“Well done, everyone, for completing the duplication charm,” Jiang Fengmian flicked his way through his spell book, as three rat clones rested beside their original forms. Jiang Yanli was perched up at the desk, redoing her nail polish with her tongue poking out slightly, as Jiang Cheng sat upright, perfectly fixated on his father and Wei Wuxian lay upside down beside him, legs hanging up and over the back of the couch.

Jiang Cheng’s rat squawked, and they all stared at it. He swallowed.

“Ignore that.”

Jiang Fengmian arched an eyebrow, but merely turned to a new spell.

“The spell of duplication focuses on forming matter from pre-existing substance. The next spell is thoughtography, the process of forming matter without pre-existing substance.”“Huh?” Wei Wuxian scrunched his nose, “So like trying to clone Jiang Cheng’s self-esteem then?”

Jiang Cheng elbowed his ribcage. Jiang Fengmian shook his head.

“No, imagine . . . imagine you wanted a sandwich but couldn’t make it yourself. What could you do?”

“Go downstairs to our restaurant and ask S _hijie_ to make me a sandwich.” Wei Wuxian responded blithely, turning to his sister. She sent him a thumbs up and a confident nod.

Jiang Fengmian blinked, and his shoulders held a barely suppressed sigh. “Yes, you could do that. But imagine A-Li’s not here.”

“Where’s A- _jie_ then?” Jiang Cheng frowned.

The next time he spoke, Jiang Fengmian was struggling between his teacher voice and his dad voice.

“It’s not important where she is . . . she . . . she left the country.”

“I left the country?” Jiang Yanli made a face, “Why? Am I okay?”

Jiang Fengmian exhaled, “You’re _fine_.”

“Well, if she’s fine, I don’t see why she can’t make me a sandwich!” Wei Wuxian threw his hands out for emphasis and the other two nodded in agreement. Whatever Jiang Fengmian was going to say next was interrupting by the attic door opening.

“Fengmian, it’s true,” Madam Yu stomped in and Wei Wuxian quickly righted himself up and Jiang Cheng stopped twirling his wand haphazardly, “it’s called the Late Night Bite.”

Wei Wuxian burst out laughing.

They all stared at him and he shrugged, “What? It’s a cute!”

“It is not cute!” Madam Yu slammed her hand down on the podium, before pulling it back with a turned up lip as a degree of dust lifted off the old spell book, “We’re down in sales this month! I bet it’s because they’re stealing out competition!”

“Really?” Jiang Cheng scrunched up his face, “Couldn’t it just be because we had less open hours this month?”

Both his parents turned to stare at him.

“Why would he have fewer open hours?” Jiang Fengmian asked, baffled and Jiang Cheng paused, glancing across.

“Yeah, why would that be, ChengCheng?” Wei Wuxian smiled invitingly.

His expression read ‘blame me, I will find a way to blame you. We are in this together.’

Jiang Cheng sometimes wondered if he was an accessory to his brother’s machinations. So, he just swallowed and shrugged.

“Just a theory.”

“Well, a theory isn’t going to improve sales,” Madam Yu scowled, “someone needs to get to this new place and gather information.”

Sometimes Wei Wuxian loved that the human was the least normal member of this family. He immediately stuck up his hand.

“I can go!”

“I can’t do it,” Jiang Fengmian reasoned, “I have to handle the night shift.”

“And I need to call up the school,” Madam Yu huffed and flicked her hair, “I’m pushing for a cocktail party. I can bolster the idea of A-Cheng as student president to the other mothers.”

“So send me!”

“I don’t think we can send A-Cheng either,” Jiang Yanli flashed him a gentle smile, “You might accidentally read into something that isn’t there.”

“Well, then you can’t go either,” Jiang Cheng pointed out, unoffended, “because you won’t read into something that is there.”

“Maybe Wen Ning could-?”

“Oi, leave my friend out of the family business!” Wei Wuxian scowled, “he’s mine! He’s the only one who’s truly seen me, but still stuck around!”

“Well, we need someone to check it out!” Madam Yu insisted and Wei Wuxian pointed at himself.

“Hello? Am I invisible?”

The four stared at him and all burst out laughing. His face pinched.

“Hey! I can be stealthy!”

“A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli giggled, “You are the opposite of stealthy. Not that’s it a bad thing! But you have a tendency to sort of announce yourself, if you get what I mean.”

“I get it, _Shijie_ ,” he pouted and her eyes twinkled, “I’m still the best bet to go.”

Jiang Fengmian smiled helplessly. “Sorry, A-Xian, I don’t think that’s the best-”

Wei Wuxian rolled his tongue around his mouth, reached into his bag and pulled out a book which he quickly handed over to his Uncle.

“-idea, oh, my old yearbook! A-Xian where did you find this? Look at my old hair!”

“That’s where you keep it?” Jiang Yanli wrinkled her button nose and Jiang Cheng groaned as both Madam Yu and Jiang Yanli leant in.

“Guys?!” he demanded, “Don’t you see what he’s doing? He’s trying to distract us!”

He flung his hand towards his brother, only to find the space conspicuously empty. They all stared at the distinct lack of Wei Wuxian.

“Aaaaand, he’s gone.”

Wei Wuxian hummed as skipped through the Pier, following the GPS. The Late Night Bite wasn’t right beside their restaurant, but it was close enough to not completely unfound Madam Yu’s suspicions. Still they had distinctly different catering options so he couldn’t see too much of their clientele getting stolen. He even snorted, aloud, as he scrolled through their menu. It was full of health bowls and probiotic yoghurts and not one single meat option. Most fascinatingly was their hours - 9pm to 5am. Bit odd, but hey, he’s sure some students working at 3am would appreciate it at some point.

The Late Night Bite was a small little hole in the wall right at the edge of the sort of cube of streets that contained the majority of the area’s more family-run small businesses. 

Like, really hole-in-the-wall.

As in, he squeezed through the front door and then had to descend stone steps to get to the eatery. Once down there, it was remarkably inviting, with a cute bell hanging over the door and neat french style tables and chairs and lit entirely by oil lamps. The staff all had a similar uniform of white pants and shirts and were bustling about despite only a single table was occupied in the far corner. Wei Wuxian was just about ready to roll his eyes and return home, convinced this place had nothing to threaten Yunmeng Place with.

And then his eyes lit up.

“It’s YOU!!”

Lan Wangji spun around, entire body stiff and surprised as Wei Wuxian came bouncing in. He frowned.

“You . . .”

“Nie- _xiong_ said you had bought someplace nearby!” he sat down at a random table and rested his chin in his hands, “I suppose I should have guessed it was this place!”

Magic knew coincidences didn’t exactly happen to him.

Lan Wangji just turned, approaching with his glare increasing, “You didn’t come today?”“Hm?”

The vampire, because of course he was a vampire, how had Wei Wuxian missed that, huffed, nostrils flaring.

“You said ‘see you tomorrow’.”

Wei Wuxian blinked, straightening slightly. His eyes widened in sudden understanding.

And he immediately burst into snickers. “Oh, Lan- _xiong_ , Lan- _xiong_ , why would I come to school today? It’s Saturday.”

“You said you would.”

“I said you could try to catch me,” he pointed out cheerfully, “I never said anything about school!”

Lan Wangji took a step towards him and he hurriedly sat up, hand halting him.

“Ah, ah, I’m a customer, Lan- _xiong_!” he declared, “Shouldn’t you be nice and serviceable?”

Lan Wangji truly had an impressive stink eye. Still, a menu was neatly left in front of him, along with a glass of water and then he sailed off. Wei Wuxian watched him go, before idly flipping through the menu he’d already seen online and scanned his barcode to send in the order and payment.

Lan Wangji seemed to be doing his best to ignore him, a very impressive effort considering Wei Wuxian was one of two customers in the store.

He still had to bring over Wei Wuxian’s bowl of yoghurt and Wei Wuxian swung his legs as he stuck the spoon in his mouth and chewed on it.

“So . . . Lan- _xiong_.”

The vampire’s gold eyes slid over to stare straight into his soul. He grinned.

“Since when are vampires vegetarians?”

Lan Wangji almost dropped the cutlery he was holding, whipping around to stare at him and he jumped, hurriedly waving calmingly.

“Ah, hey, hey, I’m friends with Nie- _xiong_ okay?” he quickly assured him, “Nie Huaisang. The whole ‘missing every full moon’ thing was sort of obvious, you know? I don’t care and I won’t tell anyone.”

Lan Wangji squinted at him, before sighing, almost imperceptibly. He approached Wei Wuxian’s table and he internally fist pumped.

“You are . . . aware that I am a vampire?”

Wei Wuxian nodded, beaming.

“You . . . don’t mind?”

“Not particularly,” he reasoned, “the vegetarian thing is weird though.”

“Humans are very unhealthy,” Lan Wangji admitted, through tight lips, “it’s frustrating.”

“Ah. Let me guess - recent blood donations have too high blood sugar levels?”

Lan Wangji nodded glumly. Unable to help himself, Wei Wuxian giggled. He was no stranger to cute people and Lan Wangji looked a little like a bunny bobbing his head, with his hair tied up into a floppy high ponytail and secured with a long white ribbon.

Making a decision, he extended his hand.

“Wei Wuxian,” he introduced, “or Wei Ying, if you want~”

Lan Wangji didn’t return the handshake but he did dip his head lightly. “My name is Lan Zhan, courtesy Wangji.”

“Lan Zhan, huh?” he didn’t hesitate, tilting his head and grinning, meshing his fingers under his chin, “So what prompted the move?”

“Helping Uncle.”

“Haaa . . .” Wei Wuxian snickered, “Always knew the old man was a vampire.”

“You did?”

“Nobody can work for the same place for _that_ long without being immortal,” he made a face, “and he’s certainly got the bat ears.”

“He would only have punished you if you were breaking the rules.”

Wei Wuxian blinked, and smiled, “Yeah, that’s kind of my trademark, if you hadn’t figured it out.”

Lan Wangji frowned at him. Wei Wuxian stuck his spoon back in his mouth, and then quickly finished his bowl.

“Well, thanks for the food~” He bounced up, “If you want a return of the favour, then I work down at Yungmeng Place, if you want to stop by.”

Lan Wangji’s expression didn’t change as he headed off.

“ . . . Wei Ying.”

“That’s me!” he spun back and posed cute. The vampire’s frown was deepening.

“Did you come here to spy?”

Wei Wuxian blinked a single, slow time.

“Absolutely not!!” he beamed and dashed out, flashing himself right back home as soon as he was out of sight, and before Lan Wangji could chase him again.

Monday found him right back in class, Jiang Cheng beside him and glaring at his worksheet, and Lan Wangji waiting in the doorway, eyes locked onto him.

Nie Huaisang fanned himself. He’d spent the last few days accommodating his older brother and was suitably annoyed about it.

“Wei- _xiong_ ,” he exhaled under his breath, “studying is torture enough. Do something about _that_ , or I am never going to pass anything.”

“You weren’t going to anyway.” Wei Wuxian observed, but he did send Lan Wangji a little finger heart. The vampire frowned at him, but made no other visible reaction, “well that’s no fun.”

“Enjoy getting chased.”

“Oh, I will, don’t worry.” 

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and flashed the Lan a glance. “Is he really a vampire?”

“Sure is,” Huaisang had abandoned the class entirely and was now preoccupied with doing his nails under the desk, “not a nice sight on a late night.”

“The bell’s going to go in, like, two minutes.”

“I just want to fix a chip.” He put away the brush and looked at Wei Wuxian with fluttering eyelashes. He huffed and flicked his finger. The polish dried immediately and Nie Huaisang cheerfully fastened the cap back on, right in time for the bell.

And under the cover of the acute sound, Wei Wuxian cast an obfuscation charm on himself. The others, well used to him suddenly vanishing, didn’t react. None of his remaining classmates did either - the beauty of obfuscation was that it didn’t straight up turn him invisible, just made him a little less interesting than the world around him. He wasn’t drawing attention by vanishing, he was making people’s attention skip right over him. They were literally tricking themselves into thinking they had seen and then dismissed me, so it never triggered uncanny valley. The only people it could mess with were those who were paying attention and he grinned when Lan Wangji double took. He took a hard look around the class as they all left, Wei Wuxian an unimportant part of the crowd.

And then Lan Wangji sniffed.

Wei Wuxian jumped as gold eyes immediately locked into his general position, so he quickly grabbed Wen Ning’s wrist and dragged him away. They made it safely to biology and Wen Ning turned and sighed.

“Really?”

“I’m pretty good at this aren’t I?” He dispelled the charm and walked into the classroom.

“Hello, Wei Wuxian.”

Wei Wuxian froze on the spot and beamed, not moving. Behind Wen Ning just silently moved his hand to cover his face. Headmaster Lan glided over and gave him a once over.

“I’ll be seeing you in Saturday detention,” he pulled out a slip and neatly inserted it into the books, “for filling the basketballs with jelly last week.”

He turned to leave, paused and then glanced back.

“I can still see you, even if you’re frozen.”

He then left and Wei Wuxian scrunched up his nose.

“Hmph. I thought I got away with that one.”

“It is literally always you, though,” Wen Ning pointed out and Wei Wuxian conceded that with a nod.

“Whatever. Come help me figure out how to escape it.”

Wen Ning’s hand resumed its position over his face.

Down in the depths of the Late Night Bite’s basement, low enough that the stones were colder than any crypt, the front half of a mahogany coffin swung open.

Lan Wangji sat up, blinking away the disorientating effects of a short sleep, as he pushed open the second half of his coffin’s lid and climbed out, far less gracefully than he’d normally allow for, except he was far more excited than he usually was. One finger twitch had a brush combing through his hair, as he headed over to the huge barrel his brother had thoughtfully handprinted a sign for saying ‘Not Blood’.

One cup later, every wrinkle in his face was gone, and he even had the slightest hints of a pulse again.

Softly closing his coffin lid, he habitually dusted off his guqin, grabbed his white school jacket and pulled the cord to bring out the stone steps leading out of the crypt.

One part of the wall swung open and stiffened as a figure slid out, his bed on a rolling rail they’d styled after a morgue’s storage unit.

“Wangji?” Lan Xichen yawned, sitting up and blinking dolefully, “Where are you going? It’s not,” he yawned again, “not yet 9pm.”

“School.”

“Oh, right, of course, say hi to Uncle for me . . .” he laid back down, reaching up to pull his frame back inside the built-in coffin, and Lan Wangji held his breath, waiting for the clear.

Another one cracked open and he winced as his Uncle rolled out, red eyes narrow.

“It is Saturday, Wangji. Why are you going to school?”

“. . . Volunteering.”

His uncle stroked his goatee, nodding approvingly. “Excellent. Pick up bleach on your way back - Xichen keeps wiping his fangs off on the good lace.”

“I’d be better at chores if mortals didn’t keep reinventing ways of doing them. How was I supposed to know where to put powder in that machine?”

Lan Wangji hummed at the memory the Bubble Incident, simply going over and pushing his brother back down.

“Good Day, Brother, don’t stay up too long.”

“Of course, little Wangji . . .” Lan Xichen was snoring before he even slid his coffin back in and Wangji huffed fondly, pushing him back out and then turning and hurrying up.

Wei Wuxian flashed himself to school three minutes before his detention was due to start at 9am. He was still in his pyjama pants and had pulled on nothing more than a hoodie over his top. The usual crowd were gathered about and most nodded to him.

Someone was not part of the usual crowd and Wei Wuxian brightened, bouncing over to his side.

“Lan Zhan!”

The vampire turned to him, in full uniform, which was causing Wei Wuxian some real struggles in imagining the vampire in anything other than a school or cafe uniform.

“I didn’t know you had detention!”

“. . . I don’t.”

“Hm?” Wei Wuxian tilted his head, “Then why would you be here? Trust me, it’s not that fun.”

“I am supervising.”

“Eh?” he arched an eyebrow, significantly less impressed, “We’ve never had a supervisor. Unless . . .”

He felt his lips pull up and pouted cutely, pointing to his chin. “You wanted a chance to see this one?”

Lan Wangji blinked at him and then turned his head away.

And his ears were tipped in red.

Wei Wuxian burst into giggles, trying to desperately supress them as he reached out and clung to Lan Wangji’s arm for balance.

“Oh me, oh my, Lan Zhan, that’s so cute!” He tilted his head, grinning, “Were you upset that you weren’t getting to talk to me all week~ Not that it was my fault or anything.”

Lan Wangji turned back, glowering this time, and Wei Wuxian grinned. It was absolutely his fault that Lan Wangji had not had a single opportunity to talk to him. 

Still the vampire sighed and just held up a finger. Wei Wuxian tilted his head, eyebrows arched in question.

The bell sounded and the doors opened for them to all go in.

Wei Wuxian blinked and groaned. “Urgh. I hate detention. I wish I didn’t have to come here every week.”

Lan Wangji blinked and held himself a bit straighter, “Then I’ll try to be a better influence on you.”

Wei Wuxian’s expression softened. “Aww. A _lot_ of people have tried, good luck with that.”

He gave the vampire a reassuring tap on the shoulder and skipped away.

Nie Huaisang carefully shut the door, padding over to the huge bed.

“ _Da-ge_? _Da_ - _ge_? **_Da-ge_** _!_ ”

“WHO?” The man snapped awake and Nie Huaisang went down with a groan as one of those arms reflexively drove itself into his gut.

“Huaisang?”

“I think you broke a rib . . .”

“It will fix itself in minutes,” Nie Mingjue sat up, scrubbing his eyes, “breaking ribs builds . . . builds character.”

“Yes, good morning to you too.” Nie Huaisang looked him over and sighed, resigned.

“ _Da-ge_?”

“Mm?” the pack leader forcefully blinked his eyes open, “yes?”

“Would you be willing to come to this place for lunch with me?”

“. . . It’s Saturday.”

“Yes?”

Nie Mingjue squinted at him. “This is my sleep-til-Sunday day.”

“Oh please, please, please!” he begged, employing the puppy dog eyes. Nie Mingjue squinted at him.

“. . . I’ll come at 1.”

“YES! Thank you, _Da-ge_!!”

“So what’s with all the emotions and shit?”

“Hmm?”

“You know, the way you get angry and blushy-blushy,” Wei Wuxian skipped sideways, as the two walked out of the school building, the noon sun hanging overhead, “I thought vampires didn’t have emotions.”

Lan Wangji thought over it for a few minutes, before lightly pushing back up his fringe to reveal nothing at all. Wei Wuxian blinked in surprise.

“You’re not damned?”

“I was born with a soul,” Lan Wangji explained, softly, “So I am indeed not.”

“Damn. Doesn’t that make things awkward though? Being the only vampire with a soul.”

“We adhere to our rules. My family is sincere and honest,” Lan Wangji responded openly, “I have never doubted their affection.”

“Aww,” Wei Wuxian hopped the next step and danced about the vampire, “that’s cute. You’re kinda cute.”

Lan Wangji resolutely didn’t look at him and Wei Wuxian felt a well of smugness at having his proposed theory so adorably confirmed. Lan Wangji _was_ cute. Was that weird? They hadn’t talked much, but it wasn’t like they hadn’t interacted. Honestly, Lan Wangji’s relentless drive to catch him this past week meant the only person he’d interacted with more at school was Wen Ning. And it wasn’t like Lan Wangji was a big talker anyway.

“Hey,” he suddenly had the thought to ask, “why do you never follow me into class?”

“I am not invited.”

Wei Wuxian blinked and then frowned, “I’m sorry, what?”

Lan Wangji turned to stare at him, a bit sardonically, “If I do not have the class, I do not have permission to enter.”

“Oh? _Oh!_ Wait, that counts? I thought it would be more the school in general, not specific classes. Haha, no wonder you always look so pissed! Not being able to enter and catch me when I’m so close.”

“It would be less frustrating if you arrived on time.”

“Hm?”

Lan Wangji was looking at him.

“We have first period together. But you never arrive in time for first period.”

“Aw, Lan Zan, are you pouting~?”

Lan Wangji immediately looked away and Wei Wuxian grinned. Hey, it wasn’t even his fault there! His schedule put _history_ first period. And, like, history was all well and good, but Wei Wuxian had to learn History++ for his wizarding studies, so the entire hour between 8am and 9am had constantly struck him as an absolute waste of time.

Before he could think up an adequate response, he spotted Wen Ning waiting dutifully for him at the corner that split towards the restaurant and he raised a hand. Wei Wuxian waved enthusiastically back, before turning to Lan Wangji, who had to take the other route.

And then he hesitated.

He could get a kiss right? A little, itty kiss. They’d walked home together, there was an implication in there. And it absolutely didn’t mean they were dating, because commitment was gross, but . . . a little kiss couldn’t be that bad, right? A sign of interest, a chance to confirm _mutual_ interest even. Magic knew Wei Wuxian had kissed a lot of people before. Why was this any different.

(Because Lan Wangji _was_ different to all the others)

On some deep, fundamental level, Wei Wuxian realised that he didn’t want to mess this up.

Lan Wangji eventually just dipped his head lightly and Wei Wuxian silently waved as the vampire turned away.

“See you later, Lan Zhan!” he called, and the vampire didn’t respond. He frowned and trotted over to join his best friend, who’d watched the encounter with wide eyes. He let Wei Wuxian browse through his phone on the walk back, only breaking the silence when they’d reached the restaurant and Wei Wuxian had safely ensconced himself behind the bench to make himself lunch.

“Wei Ying.” 

Wei Wuxian looked up and eyed the way his Bestest Friend Ever was watching him, arms crossed over the diner’s counter.

“You’re pouting at me, A-Ning.”

Wen Ning continued to pout. Wei Wuxian sighed and sat down the vat of chili oil.

“And when you’re pouting at me, it means you’re disappointed in me. However, I _thought_ I had successfully lowered your standards to keep that bar at none existent fourteen months ago. What’s wrong?”

Wen Ning sighed, “It’s about this whole Lan Wangji business. You’re . . . awfully fixated.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill him . . . or, I don’t know, turn him into a rabbit. _Oh Magic that would be adorable-!_ ”

“I don’t mean fixated in your usual way,” Wen Ning pouted harder, “I mean fixated in an actually fixated way and you’re not listening to me, are you?”

“I could _pull him out of a hat_!”

“Wei Ying!”

“Yes?! Sorry.” He blinked and shook himself, “All right, yes. I’m interested in Lan Zhan. Why on Earth is that bothering you? It means I’m _not_ getting you involved in my shenaniganery for once.”

Wen Ning looked up at him, in that certain way he could do, where his eyes went huge and his lips were fully jutted, and he raised his ‘Babie Level’ right to the top.

And it clicked.

Wei Wuxian sighed.

“A-Ning,” he rolled his eyes, “I think Lan Zhan is cute. In the like-like way.”

Wen Ning blinked and then straightened up, “Wait . . . you’re not replacing me as your best friend then?”

Wei Wuxian idly inspected him as he stirred three spoons of chili oil into his coffee.

“Wen Qionglin. You are wearing a headband made of fruit roll-ups,” he drank it without a twitch, “trust me. You’re irreplaceable.”

Wen Ning beamed at him, brightening back up, before turning more serious, “You’re not joking, right? Lan Wangji is not your type at all.”

In fact, serious, rule-abiding, and early riser were pretty much the top three ticks in Wei Wuxian’s ‘Red Flag: Do Not Touch’ list. Wei Wuxian shrugged.

“Love is a powerful force more enigmatic than even magic itself, A-Ning.”

“I see . . .” Wen Ning made a face, “but you are kind of keeping it from him that you’re a Wizard.”

“Hey, that requires at least two dates!” he pointed out, “Uncle didn’t tell Madam Yu until they were _married_.” 

Wen Ning shot him a look that said ‘exactly’, and Wei Wuxian conceded that with a nod. Madam Yu’s broad dislike of magic was not a family secret. His best friend swung his legs.

“But think about it - you’ve been basically playing with him, using an advantage he doesn’t know about. You know he’s a vampire, but he doesn’t know you’re a wizard. Don’t you think you might be, I dunno, self-aggrandising yourself here?”

“I have done no such thing! And it’s totally working!”

“That’s beside the point!” Wen Ning reached out to flick his forehead, “You used magic to deal with a _relationship_. I don’t think that’s right.”

Wei Wuxian paused and turned to inspect his best friend. “Wen Ning. ‘Doing the right thing’ has never really been my goal.”

The world outside rumbled and Wen Ning made a face. “Ah, I should go.”

“Are you working at the clinic today?”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to get rained on.”

“Okay, okay,” Wei Wuxian pat his head and waved the human off as he hurried to beat the greying sky. Most of the customers around were regulars and the restaurant had a full staff on weekends, so Wei Wuxian finished making himself some dumpling soup and positioned himself comfortably on a stool, pulled out his phone and began reading up on hair dye recommendations. He was thinking of turning his red.

The clock hit 12.40.

“I need you all to do me a favour!”

“Pass!” Wei Wuxian immediately shot down, scrolling through his phone behind the counter. Nie Huaisang gaped at him, framed in the restaurant’s doorway.

“That is not the answer I want.”

“It’s what you’re getting,” Wei Wuxian drooped the phone down slightly, “what’s up?”

Nie Huaisang exhaled, adjusted his hair, positioned his electric fan and promptly draped himself against the doorframe.

“I bring terrible news.”

“Cool. Could you, like, move inside? The bugs come in when you leave the door open during rain.”

Nie Huaisang squeaked and hurried in, hastening to shut the door, whilst glancing around for bugs. After that, he came straight past the completely unbothered patrons and draped himself over the counter.

“Don’t you want to hear the terrible news? Oh, and do you have any ham?”

“You know where it is if you want some,” Wei Wuxian put down his phone, “what’s up and why can’t ChengCheng deal with it?”

Nie Huaisang twirled a lock of his hair.

“. . . mybrotheriscomingnliketwentyminutesandIdidn’twantachengtorun . . .”

“I don’t speak coward.”

“My brother is coming!!” Nie Huaisang exploded, “He’s going to be here in less than half an hour and I didn’t want A-Cheng to freak out!!”

“ _You’re_ freaking out.”

“Exactly!! We’d just freak each other out in an endless cycle of panic.”

“Well, here’s the solution,” Wei Wuxian waved at the door, “leave.”

“Huh?”

“Your brother has no reason to be mad if he doesn’t see you in here.”

Nie Huaisang gaped at him, before his mouth abruptly snapped shut.

Wei Wuxian arched an eyebrow. “Let me guess - you want him to see you in here, with Jiang Cheng, and simply don’t want to deal with the consequences.”

“I hate that you’re actually smart,” Nie Huaisang cursed under his breath and Wei Wuxian blew him a kiss and returned to skimming various appointment times to get his hair bleached.

“Wei- _xiong_!” the werewolf whined, throwing himself over Wei Wuxian’s arm. 

“What’s all the fuss? . . . A-Sang why do you smell like wet dog?”

“Nie- _xiong_ wants to introduce you to his brother without doing any of the actual introducing,” Wei Wuxian beamed and Nie Huaisang shrieked, whacking the wizard with his fan.

“Hey!”

“I’m not wrong, dear.”

“Wait, seriously?!” Jiang Cheng went white, “Pack Leader Nie is coming _here_? To meet _me?”_

__“Well, no,” Nie Huaisang twirled his fan, “he doesn’t quite know _that_ part.”

“A-Sang.”

“Can’t you just, I dunno, save the world again?” the werewolf begged, “While he’s watching?”

_“A-Sang.”_

“You know what is still a marvelous idea?” Wei Wuxian drawled, “You. Leaving.”

“Yeah, well . . . I’m not leaving this house until you all help me with this!” Nie Huaisang declared, arms folding and face immediately moving into a pout.

The brothers exchanged a look. Jiang Cheng jutted his chin and Wei Wuxian held his fingers up in the ‘ok’ sign.

He turned back to their friend.

“Well, that’s a problem then, Nie- _xiong_. Because I’m not going to help you until you leave.”

Nie Huaisang held up a finger, paused and immediately moved it to scratch his head.

“Ah. Now I’m at a crossroads. My least favourite place to be.”

“Pity,” Wei Wuxian grinned, thoroughly entertained by this whole affair.

The clock above ticked over to 1 and Nie Huaisang visibly began panicking. Jiang Cheng hurried to calm him down as he turned to his brother and found him back on his phone.

“Are you _kidding me_?! Jiang Cheng demanded, “We are in the middle of an _emergency_ , and you’re kicking back, reading online nonsense!”

“Oi, don’t knock gossip blogs!” Wei Wuxian lowered it slightly, “Internet gossip is how I come up with most of my lies.”

Jiang Cheng just groaned and pulled out his wand. “Okay, I’m going to turn you invisible, all right? That gives us some wiggle room.”

“No, don’t!” Nie Huaisang hurried to reach and up and grab the wand, interrupting the wave, “ _Da-ge_ will still be able to smell me! He’ll get even more irritated! Can’t you do something nice, like, like . . . like dry his clothes?”

“There’s no spell like that.”

“There’s always a spell for it,” Wei Wuxian inputted mildly, and Jiang Cheng groaned and flicked his wand to turn off the phone.

Wei Wuxian held up a hand and easily deflected the charm, redirecting it straight into Nie Huaisang’s electric fan, which promptly exploded into hundreds of plastic pieces. Jiang Cheng yelped, gasping out a lucky fall charm to get all the bits to land together and not in the food.

(Accidents like these were regular enough occurrences that none of the regulars bat an eyelid and the staff were firmly convinced their employer’s family was just accident prone).

But then the door opened, and they all froze.

Nie Mingjue gazed around the room, dripping coat over one arm, face calm and placid and completely serene as he stared over the chaos.

The exploration finished at Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng, specifically on the way Jiang Cheng had his wand high up and out of his boyfriend’s reach, who was not being at all subtle about where he had his hands on his wizard boyfriend.

Nie Mingjue nodded slowly, as if a lot of things suddenly clicked.

“A-Sang,” he pointed at the wand, “no way.”

And then he turned and the door slammed shut.

“It’s temporary, right?”

Jiang Cheng was curled up on the couch in their attic, knee bouncing incessantly. Wei Wuxian just handed him another tissue and ignored the growing pile.

“A-Sang can reason with him. I’m a wizard, but I’m good. And every story about Pack Leader Nie tell how reasonable and fair minded he is.”

“And that he tears apart his enemies in fits of uncontrollable rage.”

“But I’m not his enemy, right?” Jiang Cheng turned to him, a wild look in his eye, “Right?!”

Wei Wuxian shrugged, a bit unsure, “Well, you’ve been dating his beloved baby brother under his nose. So, like . . . maybe?”

Jiang Cheng’s face screwed up in that way it did when he wanted to burst into tears and was trying to fight it by getting angry.

The door to the attic opened and they both looked up as Jiang Yanli came flying in.

“Oh, A-Cheng, I heard everything!” she swept him up into her arms and Wei Wuxian gladly conceded the space to her much better emotional capacity. Instead he flitted away to the door where Wen Qing was watching, Wen Ning hovering behind her with a packet of candy that implied they’d come straight from the clinic.

“What happened?”

“We were out shopping when Nie Huaisang rang A-Li,” Wen Qing explained, “said he didn’t want A-Cheng to be alone.”

“I was here.”

“I think I’m the only who finds your presence comforting,” Wen Ning pointed out, not unkindly and Wei Wuxian huffed, reaching out to cuddle Wen Ning’s back.

“So now what?”

“I don’t know!!” the voice exploded out from Jiang Cheng and the three in the doorway jumped, “I . . . I don’t want to fuck up A-Sang’s relationship with his brother!! And you heard him, he thought we would be temporary anyway . . . maybe-”

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli interrupted smoothly, “Are you giving up?”

He blinked at her. She smiled angelically.

“You are _already_ good enough to be Nie Huaisang’s boyfriend. All you have to do is impress Pack Leader Nie. Are you saying you can’t?”

“ _No_.” He responded, definitely reflexively, “I can do that.”

“It’s okay if you don’t think you can,” she hugged his shoulders, “it’s okay to give up.”

Jiang Cheng’s face curdled. “It might be okay. But I’m _not_ giving up.”

With that, he snatched up his wand and stomped out.

The four watched him go and then Jiang Yanli smiled innocently when they all switched their awed gaze to her.

She held up a thumbs up. “Easy.”

“I can’t believe how good you are at that, seriously,” Wen Qing exhaled. Wei Wuxian nodded empathetically.

“Yeah, I’ve grown up with her, and I still can’t get over how good she is with Jiang Cheng.”

“I’m good with you too, A-Xian.” She smiled sweetly, before getting up and heading to the attic door.

“Oh, and A-Xian?”

“Mm?” 

She gave his shoulder a pat, “This is important to A-Cheng. Try not get into too many hijinks in the meantime.”

And with that, she headed down the attic to presumably find Jiang Cheng.

Wen Qing sniggered at the growing amount of irritation on Wei Wuxian’s face

“Urgh, I hate it when Jiang Cheng _cares_ about stuff. It gets in my way.” Wei Wuxian folded his arms and Wen Qing snorted.

“I’m sorry, when has that _ever_ stopped you?”

“It won’t. But it means I have to do more work, and I resent it on principle.”

He walked into the room and flopped onto the couch. He picked up the nearest spell book and began thumbing through it. Surely there was a spell that made ancient werewolves slightly more accommodating towards wizards . . . or a spell that made people get over heartbreak . . .

“Hang on a second!!” he suddenly declared and the Wen siblings both stared at him, Wen Ning with wide eyes and Wen Qing with wary ones.

“We should just help them get back together!” Wei Wuxian decided. Wen Ning’s eyes lit up as he kept eating his candy.

“That’s a totally nice thing to do! We should do it, because you never come up with those!”

Wei Wuxian nodded, pleased, “Yeah, I think them but never say them. Buut this one I did. So let’s see how it goes.”

“A-Li literally just told you not to get into hijinks.”

“Buuuuut, this is for the sake of my baby brother,” Wei Wuxian grinned, “so it’s safe. I will need _Shijie_ though.”

Wen Ning blinked and then let out a small little ‘oh’.

The two fist bumped and all three went to find Jiang Yanli.

(“Yes, I know the Jiang family, the kids are at Uncle’s school with A-Sang . . . wait, _what_? They’re actually . . . yes, _Da-ge_ , I understand. I’ll need to tell Wangji too, shit.” The call was cancelled with a small beep, “Uncle, did you know the Jiang siblings are untamed wizards?”

“. . . Oh, Xichen. I believe I just experienced an epiphany.”)

“I think this has to be one of your better plans yet,” Wen Qing mused, watching the two wizards move around the kitchen, “Once Nie Mingjue gets a taste of A-Li’s cooking, he’ll practically be begging for Jiang Cheng and Nie Huisang to stay together.”

“Ooh, that’s what this is about,” Nie Huaisang blinked his eyes wide, from his position on the tabletop, “I thought Wei- _xiong_ was just being uncharacteristically generous.”

Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian looked at each other and burst into uproarious laughter. Nie Huaisang let them go without comment, lips thin. He’d followed his brother home to try and entreat him, had failed epically, been grounded for keeping the whole thing under wraps, and had then snuck out the window and returned to Yunmeng Place.

Needless to say, his makeup was not pristine.

“Is he going to bite though?” He whined, “I know Yanli- _jie_ is a supreme food goddess, but, like, _anyone_ else would think she just used magic to trick it. I know _Da-ge_ will think that. And isn’t this whole thing meant to improve his opinion on wizards?”

“Huaisang,” Jiang Yanli reached over the kitchen bench to pat his shoulder, “trust me.”

Nie Huaisang stared at her.

“. . . I’m still nervous, but I’m saying yes because Wei- _xiong_ is going to kill me otherwise.”

“You’re right!” Wei Wuxian sent him a slightly murderous thumbs up behind her and the werewolf sighed.

“Where’s A-Cheng?”

“In his room, psyching himself up,” Wen Qing was neatly cutting up some green onions, as Wei Wuxian snacked and Wen Ning had the most important duty of all, which was keeping Wei Wuxian away from the pot, “I think he’s oscillating between confidence and mind-numbing terror.”

Jiang Yanli sighed and pushed the end of the spoon into her cheek. “I think I’ve talked to him for almost two hours, and he’s still worked up.”

“Well, Jiang Cheng’s never great when faced with authoritative disapproval,” Wei Wuxian observed, a bit wryly.

“Yeah, he’s the opposite of you!” Wen Qing beamed at him and he winked. Nie Huaisang just groaned again and face flopped onto the kitchen benchtop.

“What’s this pity party for?”

About three people all leapt to their feet, as the door of the apartment opened, and Madam Yu came in. She peered around the group, frowning.

“A-Li, why are you making your coaxing soup?”

“Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang lost the approval of Nie Huaisang’s older brother so we’re going to bribe him to let them get back together and leave them to their hopefully eternal bliss,” Wei Wuxian popped a corn chip into his mouth, “but he’s freaking out and Nie- _xiong_ has already started to plan the mansion he’ll retire too, alone and unloved.”

“It should have ivy on the walls,” Nie Huaisang nodded miserably, “to run wild in a metaphorical representation of my lack of care for my own life and wellbeing.”

“So we’re sort of dealing with some mixed enthusiasm from the two most relevant parties.” Wei Wuxian finished. “At this rate, you might just need to give him another pep talk, _Shijie_.”

Jiang Yanli nodded, steel already returning to her gaze, when Madam Yu sighed, very exasperated.

“No, I refuse to let A-Li move away from that stovetop whilst Wei Wuxian is about.” She pulled back some of her hair, “Take the photo opportunity whilst it’s here, kids, because I’m about to show some affection.”

Wei Wuxian did reach for his phone and Wen Qing kicked his gut to pre-emptively stop that. Madam Yu just headed for the upstairs bedroom, with Jiang Yanli and Wen Ning cheering for her.

She stomped right to the very last bedroom and swung it open.

“-and as you see, I have a 4.0 GPA and MUM?!”

“Practicing in front of the mirror?” she sneered, and Jiang Cheng went bright red, immediately hunching over his knees. “Your words should have enough confidence to not need practice. If you have to persuade yourself, then you’ll definitely have to persuade this brother.”

“I know . . .”

She sighed, resigned.

“Look, A-Cheng, I want you to listen to me,” Madam Yu sat down on his bed, legs folded, “if this boy really likes you, it’s because he likes you for who you are. And who you are is a handsome some young man.”

Jiang Cheng’s lips twitched up.

Madam Yu shrugged, “Who also happens to be a bit loud and who has a tendency to lose his temper a bit, and would it kill you to clean a dish every so often?!”

“MUM!!”

“AND,” she continued on, “if he likes you for that, then his brother should respect him and like you for that too. Stop thinking about how you’re going to pretend and start thinking about how you’re going to tell him how it is.”

Jiang Cheng swallowed, “What if he still doesn’t accept ‘how it is’?”

“Then dig your heels in and don’t give up until he concedes.” She advised bluntly and Jiang Cheng actually burst into laughter.

The banquet was coming along nicely, Jiang Cheng had stopped pacing above their heads and Nie Huaisang was slowly coming around to text his buzzing phone his current location.

Wei Wuxian’s own phone vibrated and he got off his stool of vigilance to read it outside of the kitchen space, the doors closing behind him.

And then he came right back in.

“ _Shijie_! _Shijie_!” Wei Wuxian came careening back through the doors, making both girls glance up, “I need your help!”

“Of course, A-Xian, what’s wrong?” she immediately set down the pot she was holding, coming around the counter to hold his hands. He exhaled.

“Lan Zhan thinks I’m a dirty liar and so the only way to convince him otherwise is just . . . just come clean and tell him I’m a wizard.”

They both stared at him.

“That’s the only way?” Wen Qing echoed incredulously. 

Wei Wuxian shrugged. “It’s the first thing I thought of. And you know me, I’m not really a ‘Plan B’ kind of guy.”

“I think we shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” Jiang Yanli pointed out, reasonably, “what exactly happened?”

“Well, he sent me this text, you see,” he handed her his phone and she frowned.

“That’s . . . certainly a text.”

“Wait, what does it say?” Wen Qing wiped her hands and held out the cleaner one. Wei Wuxian handed his phone over and her nose scrunched. “. . . What?”

VampZhan<3:

_[I cannot talk to you._

_There is an issue._

_I am working on it.]_

“What part of this says ‘dirty liar’, you moron?” she handed it back and Wei Wuxian blinked, silver eyes wide and owlish.

“He can’t talk to me! Lan Zhan was just starting to open up and now he’s closed himself off! He must have realised something is off! Oh, Magic, I need to fix this, A-Ning was right, I need to tell him everything-!”

“Okay, okay, A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli caught his hands back close to her chest, redrawing his attention, “calm breaths, yes?”

Wei Wuxian nodded, forcing himself to inhale and exhale. His sister smiled.

“Why don’t you try and find him? Talk it out, get a better understanding of what this issue is. It could be completely minor. Don’t let your imagination run wild, all right? Just go and get this all cleared up and we can text you when it’s safe to come back without intruding on A-Cheng and the Nies.”

He nodded again, much more confidently. “You got it. You’re the best _Shijie_.” 

He kissed her cheek and then flashed himself out of the apartment. She turned to the Wen siblings and held up a thumbs up.

“Like I said - easy.”

Wen Qing just leant her face into her hands as she desperately supressed her giggles.

Lan Xichen glided down the steps into the crypt, sighing slightly at the sight of the shut coffin.

“Wangji, come out please, we need to talk.”

He knocked on it a couple of times, only for it to remain stubbornly shut, no sign of the vampire within emerging. He sighed, a bit louder, and tried to open it himself.

It was locked.

_“Wangji.”_

H _e_ knocked again, repeatedly, inconsistently offbeat to ignore his musically gifted little brother.

“Come on, Zhan-er, we should talk about this.”

After another minute, he heard the distinct sound of a bolt being slid through and he exhaled, relieved, lifting up the top half.

And then he huffed.

Lan Wangji didn’t emerge from under the blanket.

He reached down and pat what he presumed was Lan Wangji’s shoulder.

“Wangji, I know it must seem unreasonable, but human’s and vampires just don’t mix. And, well, Uncle and Young Master Wei don’t mix.”

For a moment he thought he’d get no reply, before a voice poked through the blanket.

“Don’t care.”

“You’re setting yourself - yourself _and_ Young Master Wei - up for a lot of heartbreak and conflict.”

“Want Wei Ying anyway.”

“Come now, you need to think about this rationally-”

“I’m trying.” the blanket flipped down and Lan Wangji finally sat up, hair a black cloud around him, the wrinkles in his forehead and around his mouth sure signs that he wasn’t eating, “But I can’t, Brother. I can’t.”

“Wangji. . .”

“I want to be with him. I want to make him laugh. I want to see him smile.” Lan Wangji buried his face in his hands, “Why did Father give me feelings if all they do is hurt?!”

“Oh, sweetheart,” the look of sheer distress was Lan Xichen’s tipping point, curling up beside his little brother in his coffin, wrapping the younger tightly against his chest, as Lan Wangji just buried his face in his shoulder and cried. He hung on, helpless and completely out of his depth, as he turned pleadingly to their Uncle. The ancient vampire just sighed and vanished as he left the crypt at superspeed.

Wei Wuxian flashed himself to the school. 

He knew Lan Wangji had gone back home, but it felt wrong to go there - like he was intruding. The school seemed like a safe middle ground. No one was there, late at night on a Saturday evening and he took off through the halls.

“Lan Zhan!?” he called, “Lan Zhan, are you here? What’s wrong?”

No reply. And given that Lan Wangji had vampiric hearing, that meant he definitely wasn’t here. Wei Wuxian huffed, puffing out his cheeks.

He had come here on a whim, but he had studied too much divination to not believe in happenstance. But where . . . ah!

He hurried back towards the main staircase, where he had first encountered Lan Wangji. Sure enough, neatly tucked into a corner of the carpet, was a small white note. He climbed the stairs two at a time, picked it up and then rode right back down the bannister. He leapt off the end and stumbled the rest of the way to his locker to retrieve a snack as he unfurled the paper.

Wei Ying,

I would like to spend more time with you. I am sorry I am not fantastic at articulating this in person.However, my family does not want us to be around each other.

I will do my best to change their minds. Please wait just a little bit.

His jaw clicked. Well wasn’t this timing all terribly convenient?

“Wei Wuxian.”

He tipped his head back with a monumental groan and spun around to smile at Lan Qiren, the one person who definitely would be here late at night on a Saturday.

“Can I help you, Teacher Lan?”

The Headmaster stroked his goatee, “Would you believe that I have taken it upon myself to sign you up for Locker Refurbishment Club.”

Wei Wuxian blinked at him for a little while before reaching around behind his head to knock his own abomination shut with a bright smile.

“No thanks!!”

He went to flounce off until the Headmaster cleared his throat.

“You know, if I could see you making an effort, I wouldn’t be as opposed-”

“Oh, come on!” he spun on his heel, rolling his eyes right into his skull, “At what point is effort? I’m not going to let you blackmail me just so I can hang out with your nephew. From the moment I set foot in this school, you penned me as evil-!

“You showed up already violating the dress code.”

“-And the truth of the matter is I like Lan Zhan, and he likes me and we like each other exactly as we are, and I’m not going to bend to your dumb standards just to try and make myself more ‘Lan Friendly’!”

He crossed his arms and stuck his chin in the air. Lan Qiren watched him for a very long, slow minute.

“Wei Wuxian.”

“Ya?”

“I am a high school headmaster - I have encountered a lot of evil in my time working here,” he mused, “and in my experience, there’s not much I can do for the majority of them. But you? You I haven’t given up on. Because I personally believe that there is a difference between evil . . . and evil genius.”

He extended his hand indicatively. Wei Wuxian blinked, and his arms loosened slightly.

“Wait, you think I’m an evil genius? That’s so sweet.”

(Was he blushing??)

Lan Qiren stuck his own chin the air, “I will make you an upstanding citizen Wei Wuxian. And not just so you can date my nephew, but because you are one of the few monsters in this high school that actually pose a challenge. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Wei Wuxian bit down on his lips and nodded bashfully, waving and hurrying away with a skip in his step.

Behind him, Lan Qiren let out a deep resigned sigh, and pulled out his phone.

“Are you sure you won’t regret this?” Nie Huisang asked tentatively. Jiang Cheng scoffed and folded his arms. 

“Regret is for the _weak_.”

Nie Huisang exhaled.

“That’s my A-Cheng. Lovely. And Scary.”

Jiang Cheng cracked a rare smile and latched on Nie Huaisang’s arm.

The door opened and Nie Mingjue walked in.

The Pack Leader of the Nie clan was physically huge, resting comfortably taller than their doorframe and he habitually dipped under it to enter the apartment. He eyed the pair of them sceptically.

“Well, I’m here,” his voice was brittle, “so let’s do this one more time. Is there something you would like to tell me, A-Sang?”

Nie Huaisang moved his hand to grip the one holding his arm.

“This is Jiang Wanyin, of the Jiang Wizard Family,” he spoke, somehow calmly, “and I have been dating him. I would very much like to continue to date him. Without your approval if necessary, but I would still like it.”

Nie Mingjue arched a lone eyebrow and his muscle-bound arms folded. Jiang Cheng tried not to think about how those arms could snap him like twig, and instead just held himself a bit firmer.

“So if my permission is clearly so unnecessary,” the Pack Leader grumbled, “why bother?”

Nie Huaisang’s face crumpled. “ _Da-ge_!” he whined, “It’s because I really like him! And I want you to like him! I think I did really well this time and I want you to be proud of me! _I’m_ proud of me!”

Right. Nie Huaisang was proud of this. Jiang Cheng clung to that grimly.

Nie Mingjue just slowly turned to him. He extended a single hand.

“Pack Leader Nie Mingjue.”

“Jiang Wanyin,” he returned to the handshake as firmly as he could, imagining it was Wei Wuxian’s hand and crushing it accordingly, “Wizard.”

“Official?”

“No, sir,” he managed not to squeak, “neither my elder sister nor I have reached the threshold to hold the competition yet.”

“He’s the _predicted_ winner though,” Nie Huaisang quickly jutted in. Nie Mingjue’s expressions remained unchanging.

“And what about the third?”

“Sorry?”

“There was a third untamed wizard,” he pointed out, slightly slowly and Jiang Cheng felt his cheeks burn, “who was he? I know wizards don’t like having other wizard children running about whilst their family status is undetermined.”

“That would be our adopted brother,” like an angel descending from on high, Jiang Yanli appeared, “it’s lovely to meet you, Pack Leader Nie, I’m Jiang Yanli. I’ve made dinner for everyone, if you’d all like to follow me.”

They did, immediately and without any need for magic, heading to the table which Wen Qing and Wen Ning had set and promptly vanished upstairs to not complicate the mess further by throwing humans into the mix. The three of them took their seats and Jiang Yanli served them without a single drop spilling, all innocent charm and pleasantness that the three responded dutifully too.

Perched at the very top of the stairs, somewhat hidden, the Wen siblings held their breaths, Wen Qing’s much quicker fingers ready to rapid-text Wei Wuxian the updates.

Nie Mingjue took his first mouthful. Paused. Stared at it.

Took another.

Jiang Cheng could barely swallow his own, his throat was so dry and Nie Huaisang’s hand was digging painfully into his thigh, the hint of a claw pushing out.

The Pack Leader sat back after the second spoonful and turned to the Jiang Yanli.

“You made this?” he asked, and she beamed.

“I did!”

“Without magic?”

“None whatsoever,” the wizard assured him, radiating warmth and sincerity. Nie Mingjue thought it over, before slowly turning back to Nie Huaisang.

“I like her,” he decided, bluntly, “go right ahead. I want her as an in-law.”

“YES, I mean, um, yes, thank you, _Da-ge_ ,” Nie Huaisang beamed and his older brother rolled his eyes at him.

“Trust you to fall in love with a wizard.”

“A very nice wizard,” Nie Huaisang insisted.

Nie Mingjue just shrugged and resumed eating, “So what was this about an adopted brother?”

“Oh, that’s Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Yanli quickly filled in, “his father and our Dad were close friends. He’s been with us since we were young children.”

Nie Mingue blinked and frowned, “Wait, by Wei . . . you mean the Darke Wizarde’s kid?”

Everyone at the table froze.

“Yes?” Jiang Cheng offered, voice tense.

(The two atop the stairs were poised, fingers hovering over the send button)

Nie Mingjue snorted, “That’d be right, wouldn’t it? A-Sang’s dating the brother of the wizard seducing Wangji.”

Jiang Cheng choked on his next spoonful. “Wait, ‘seducing’?”

“According to Xichen, he is.”

“The Lans know A-Xian’s a wizard?!” Jiang Yanli very nearly squeaked but didn’t, sending the two spies a very urgent look. Luckily enough, they were both madly typing. Nie Mingjue finally frowned, genuinely confused.

“Um, yes? Obviously?”

“They don’t care?”

“I’m presuming no considering Wangji’s been hiding on the terrace this whole time, waiting for permission to enter.” He waved his spoon and happily resumed eating as everyone else whipped their heads around in horror.

Wei Wuxian had, in a fit of uncharacteristic industrious, decided to skate back home instead of simply flashing.

He was about halfway when his phone, which had been steadily buzzing, suddenly went nuclear. There were almost twenty messages from the Wen siblings each, but there was some from Jiang Yanli and even Nie Huaisang. Um, hello? They had a critical role to playing the ‘Peacemaking Plan’. Why were they texting him?He picked up the pace and skated all the rest of the way to Yunmeng Place, absently saying hi to his Uncle and the evening staff as he went up the stairs two at a time.

“I’m home!” he yelled, sashaying in. Through a door, he could see the three still amicably continuing dinner, without much yelling or fighting or turning-into-wolfing so it was a success? presumably?

Was that why everyone had texted him?

“A-Xian? Ah, welcome home.” His sister wafted over from the kitchen and began mechanically stroking his arm, voice high and strained, “Can I Talk to You on the Terrace Please?”

Wei Wuxian stared at her for a hot minute. “. . . well that’s weird, so yeah.”

She led him through the main room, and up the stairs to their apartments little terrace balcony. She held the door open for him and he was only half surprised when she immediately slammed it shut.

“Well, if it’s _Shijie_ , it’s probably only good things so . . .” he turned around and surveyed the terrace, “what I am meant to be seeing?”

A small chirp made him look down.

Resting on the arm of one of their terrace chairs, was a little fluffy bat, with golden eyes and a white ribbon tied carefully around its big ears.

Let’s not beat around the bush, Wei Wuxian died from the cuteness.

“LAN ZHAN!” he scooped up the little thing, delighted, “Is it you? I’ve missed you so much!! And look at your little wings and your little ears and your little fangs, _aww-”_

There was a puff of smoke and the vampire transformed into his usual form, standing before Wei Wuxian in his full glory. Wei Wuxian beamed and flung himself around the body. Cold arms closed around him.

“Missed Wei Ying too,” Lan Wangji admitted, holding him close. Wei Wuxian hummed happily, before pushing back slightly so he could look up.

“But what about your family? I thought-”

“I don’t know what Wei Ying did,” Lan Wangji entwined their hands, “but Uncle texted. He is fine with it.”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth dropped open and then he burst out laughing. “Oh wow. Wow, Teacher Lan actually went a bit soft on me. I’d better make sure he regrets that!”

“Please don’t,” Lan Wangji simply brushed his hair back behind his ears, voice dry, “it took enough for them to get over your criminal record. They are trying to get over your magic. Perhaps wait to test them.”

“Perhaps,” Wei Wuxian conceded, ruefully before blinking as something clinked late, “You know I’m a wizard?”

“Since I first saw you,” Lan Wangji blinked, “arriving late with Wen Qionglin.”

“Wait, you’ve known I’ve been a wizard this whole time?!” Wei Wuxian shrieked and Lan Wangji tilted his head, before placidly nodding, “HOW?!”

The vampire pointed down. Wei Wuxian blinked and looked down.

The tip of his wand was sticking out of his boot and he let out a monumental ‘oohh’. And then he immediately brightened and glanced back around.

“Wait, does this mean your family also doesn’t care that I’m a wizard?”

“They will come around,” Lan Wangji responded sweetly. And Wei Wuxian simply beamed, flung himself around Lan Wangji’s freezing neck and finally got that kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Guess I'm making a halloween series??
> 
> Speaking of, who thought this series would get a sequel, cos it sure as hell wasn’t me, but hey, Halloween reappeared and I thought it would be a worthy time to break my streak of lockdown-lack-of-creativity. 
> 
> in Classic chatonnerie form, I only really started writing this 36 hours before I wanted to post it (aka 36 hours ago) so it’s a Mess. I'm a Mess, but it's actually finished so Take That Brain 
> 
> This wei wuxian is honestly really fun to write because he’s an actual teenager, so his capacity for evil is like quadruple that of his college age self.  
> I took a Lot more liberty with the plot here, and it was actually kind of hard to decided which parts I wanted to include/exclude because WOWP is Just. So. Quotable. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!


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